I’m sure any of you could tell me why we hate cyclists with half a dozen douchebag cyclist experiences..
They ask us to share the road, so we give them their very own special lane where they can marinate in their own righteous, Earth saving self-love. We extend the courtesy of not splattering plastic bags of piss on their backs at 45mph when they decide to double up in their lane, spilling over into the road.
We stomach this painful adolescent entitlement, under their thin facade of “saving the air.” They assume we are all indebted to them the second we unlock our car door, just by virtue of the fact that we are all raping Mother Earth, while they nurse it back to health.
So because of this vomitus self-love, we are subjected to staring at a couple up cellulose asscheeks undulating up and down a windy road at 7mph because they will not MOVE THE FUCK OVER. Sharing the road does not mean forcing me to travel at the snail’s pace your fixed gear allows for. You want to share the road with all the same privileges as a normal motorist, but you want us to turn a blind eye to your blatant disregard for the rules a normal motorist must adhere to.
You already go too slow, don’t have brake lights, or turn signals, yet you STILL think it’s okay to be weaving in and out of traffic, running stop signs (because you don’t want to lose momentum), and basically doing whatever the fuck you want.
My point: You want to share the road? Respect the road. Understand that you go slower than an automobile. Try to respect peoples’ time and patience. When you ride in the middle of the road (effectively building a vehicle centipede behind you), your actions cause a fleet of motorists to abhor every ounce of your soul. When you ride double in your special little lane so that you can talk to your fellow rider and give us a heart attack as you constantly veer into the road, WE WANT TO HIT YOU WITH OUR CAR. HARD. When you expect to be treated as a normal motorist then act like dick in traffic, WE WANT TO HIT YOU WITH OUR CAR. When you open your mouth spewing hippie propaganda about your righteous plight, WE WANT TO HIT YOU WITH OUR CAR.